Jealousy and Guilt

While reading the May edition of Chicago Parent I was drawn to a comment made by Editor Tamara L O’Shaughnessy in the “From the Editor” section. She said, “I didn’t expect to feel so jealous of the stay-at-home moms laughing and playing with their little ones at the park as I pass every day at lunch.”

I think that as a mother who has been on both sides I understand that jealousy. However, as a stay-at-home mom I can guarantee you that we are looking at you thinking “I wish that was me walking on my lunch break, not dealing with the kids.”

It is a rather ironic dichotomy. As a working mom you have a sense of guilt for working and not being home. You fear that others, namely stay-at-home moms, look at you as a career driven, heartless woman, who most likely had children to prove a point. As a stay-at-home mom you have a sense of guilt as well. You fear that others, namely working moms, look at you as a mindless, gym going, park playing, weak woman who most likely went to college for her MRS.

The truth of the matter is that it is mostly all in your head. I went back to work after my first child. As a matter of fact, I took a promotion during maternity leave. I was on the fast track, looking at being a director in the next year or two. I had guilt, I was jealous, and I wanted to be home laughing and playing with my child at the park. After my second child I went back to work, but because of my husband’s travel schedule with his job we made a decision for me to stay at home with the kids. Now as a stay-at-home mom I have guilt, I am jealous, and I want to be going to work: interacting with adults and making adult decisions.

I have had the privilege of being a working mom and a stay-at-home mom; both teaching me valuable lessons about the so-called pressures of society and myself. The truth is; you can’t win. No matter the decision you make you will feel guilty, jealous and want to be doing something else. Maybe not everyday but once in a while you will see that mom at the park with her kids or walking on her lunch break and think, “I wish that were me.”

Hairdryer

So this is totally pointless but I have to share my stupidity anyway...I have been using the guest hairdryer for the last six months. It just works better than mine. However, it remains in the guest bathroom and I still refer to it as the "guest" hair dryer. So today I got out my handy dandy "old" hair dryer to test it out, maybe it is better than I remembered. But no, all hot air and no blow.

So I thought to myself, "I loved this hairdryer once upon a time; has it always been this bad and I didn't know or did something happen to it?" Then I realized the back opens...what...a filter. Needless-to-say I cleaned out the filter and I am happy to report that my hair dryer is back to it's old self. "Guest" hair dryer you have been good, but I will keep you for company.